24 November 2008

You thought you could take away my rights? Nah, bitch, Imma take away my penis!

I've never cringed so much within a two-minute time period in my life.

...in a good way.

Horrible representative of homosexuals? Yes.
Would I ever like to meet Chris Crocker? "Nah Bitch."

But do I think Chris Crocker is somehow an unspoken comic genius? Yes.
In fact, it's like watching a trainwreck. A horribly confused transgendered trainwreck.

23 November 2008

White Light Night

So I went out Friday. I was pretty stoked about this happening in MidCity (where I live, yo!) called White Light Night. So, I was somewhat disappointed when Shivers and I were walking around staring at all these fucking yuppies everywhere, which I should have predicted, as all the references to wine and cheese were basically begging me to see it coming. HOWEVER, it turned out pretty damned cool.
After we walked around and got stared at by the yuppies for eating all their free food and drinking all their shitty wine, we drove on down to the Bible and Book Center. Hilarious. I went in expecting the most crazy shit, and oh my lord. Probably the most offensive/hilarious thing was this picture of Jesus with this kid on his lap and some other kids all around him: two African kids, a Chinese kid, an Indian kid, and guess which kid Jesus is tickling on his lap? The aryan. The other kids looked sortof sad but the white kid and Italian Jesus were laughing it the fuck up. I thought that was hilarious. In addition, there was a greeting card that said, "Missed you at church" which depicted a man on a desert island. WHO WOULD SEND A CARD LIKE THAT?!?! Whatever the case, I'm glad it exists. There were also multiple books about Sarah Palin and fucking Mike Huckabee (puke), none by Democrats, though. YES! PS, we were totally glared at by all dem Christians too. I ate their oatmeal cookies too.
THEN we went to the Purple Monkey, a few blocks down from my house. Everyone was there. Like EVERYONE. It was so nice to see people my age at this gathering, after all that yuppie glory. We stayed there for a little bit. Saw Angel, Speedo, Tim, Denee, Stephanie, etc. Then the impossible happened: the drains on the floor started to overflow and fucking ROACHES started crawling out. It was fucking putrid. I took that as my key to leave.
Shivers and I met up with everyone at Red Star, at which Otto was DJing. Things got crowded, and I was definitely glad to see Krish and Chela. Emily and Mr. Fabulous were there, too, which was so nice. I hadn't seen her out for a while. Then Otto pulled this funky soul shit out of his ass, and we all just danced up a storm. It was more crowded than your mom's vagina on Orgy Thursday, but Jesus Christ Allmighty: he played A Tribe Called Quest, early Michael Jackson, and King Floyd. And that's all it took for me to get buckwild. It was literally too much fun. Literally. Like my life is now falling to pieces because I know that nothing I will ever do will be quite as fun as that night.

And yes I did just write a cyber-your mom joke.

21 November 2008

Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band

Went to the Republic to see Conor Oberst tonight, and I should say that, despite the fact that he didn't play any Bright Eyes songs, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Sure, the last half of the show was a little boring, and sure, his voice is as grating as it usually is; however, the songs were very well-written. I liked the rockers a lot--sounded like Sky Blue Sky Wilco, which is a very good thing. The band was exceptionally talented, and I enjoyed watching them as much as I enjoyed seeing Conor Oberst himself.
He even brought an accordian player and a washboard player on stage for the finale, when he stagedived a few times. It was pretty sweet. I'll have to get the album soon.

20 November 2008

Dance Fail

I know what you're thinking, but WATCH ALL OF IT. It makes the conclusion so much more sweet--just like the sabbath wine.

16 November 2008

A Strange Form of Life

It's an old video I forgot about because it hadn't been uploaded to YouTube. HOWEVER, now that it is, I think I should share it--mostly because I gots a WHOLE BUNCH of friends that appear in it/have anything to do with it.

Better Than the Real Thing

15 November 2008

What I've Been Listening To (11/15/08)

Last weeks picks:
Point of Departure by Andrew Bird was really good, but not as good as Black Fire truthfully. 4 stars.
The Shape of Jazz to Come by Ornette Coleman was a complete shocker--it wasn't much like what I thought it would be. Less chaotic. I loved it regardless. 4.5 stars.

This week:
I downloaded a whole bunch of albums. I guess it's a stay at home and listen to music kind of week.
Getz/Gilberto by Stan Getz and Joao Gilberto was an album I downloaded a few hours after I made that last post about what I had been listening to. It's a nice album, though I must say it sounds a little too novelty for my tastes. 3.5 stars.
Let My Children Hear Music by Charles Mingus is something I downloaded the day after the last music post. It's really wild. I sometimes forget how much I like Mingus--which is a lot, in case you were wondering. 4.5 stars. Subject to change.
Christmas on Mars Soundtrack by The Flaming Lips is a CD I bought with the accompanying movie. It's ambient-y, which isn't really my cup of tea; however, those touches of outstanding Flaming Lips glory are what saves it from a lower rating. 3.5 stars.
Here Are the Chesterfield Kings by the Chesterfield Kings. One of my favorite garage punk acts ever is the Mean Red Spiders, who only ever released one EP, which could very well be my favorite EP of all time. So, imagine my thrill when I found out that several of the Spiders were also in this band! It doesn't sound really anything like the Mean Red Spiders, but I like it anyway. Rating pending.
The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady by Charles Mingus. I downloaded this one on the 14th after having enjoyed "Let My Children..." so much. I have only listened to it three times, so I haven't got a real opinion yet. On the same token, rateyourmusic.com (my favorite website) has rated this album higher than any other jazz album ever, so expectations are high.
The Low-End Theory
by A Tribe Called Quest. Downloaded it just now, after having realized how much I like the sound. Jazz-Rap, as the genre is appropriately called, is compltely intriguing, and I look forward to delving deeper into it. (I feel a new obsession coming on.)

13 November 2008


So, I've been waiting for this album/movie by the Flaming Lips called "Christmas on Mars" for several years--5 at least--and IT'S FINALLY HERE! I went to Best Buy today and picked that shit UP!
I am currently listening to the soundtrack, but haven't yet seen the movie. I'm waiting for someone to watch it excitedly with me--probably Shivers, maybe Randy, and potentially a combination of the two; not to mention that I have school tomorrow. HOLY SHIT I AM SO EXCITED!
I can't wait too much longer; if it doesn't happen tomorrow, I will probably be a loser and watch it by myself. BUT OH MY GOD! I finally have it!
Oh my sweet fucking baby Jesus.

This comes from Wayne Coyne's liner notes. I'm not sure exactly what it has to do with the movie, but OMG it's so good:

"Obsessed with the Dark and Magic":
It was always night when me and my brothers would go to these cold, empty warehouses with our dad. We would always walk through endless dark hallways and enter giant, desolate rooms dimly lit by only a single light hanging on an extension cord from the ceiling. Our dad would set up a couple of blinding work lights in the corner and go at refinishing the woodwork on some expensive desk that had been damaged. While he worked, me and my brothers would try to explore the scary, abandoned building. I say "try" because our dad would yell at us if we strayed too far...and for good reason. I later discovered some of the elevator shafts had no doors or railings (that would prevent someone from falling dwon them) and there were rats everywhere, nibbling on the leftover remains from an old cinnamon candy assembly line factory on the sixth floor. But the fear and the mystery were too fascinating and we found ourselves using these warehouses to play out imaginary scenarios as we fumbled through what would once be a dungeon in a haunted castle and another time an insane asylum....and I clearly remember us playing as if we were in a space station on another planet. The concrete structure made every sound a giant moan of reverberation. The atmosphere was lonely and bleak and death seemed possible...but so did magic...I was happy.

It was SO worth the wait.

09 November 2008

What I've Been Listening To (11/9/08)

The past couple of days, I've downloaded two pretty fantastic Jazz albums:
Point of Departure by Andrew Hill
The Shape of Jazz to Come by Ornette Coleman

Wait, So Why "Jonathan the Zombie"?

It ain't my name and it ain't my life status:

Well, Hellooooooo

So, I suppose I'll start blogging now. Life (the internet) is too interesting to hog all for myself, so if I find something funny or interesting, I hope to publish it here. Additionally, I hope to update my friends with what's going on in life or what I'm listening to or whatever.
This may be a failed project.
But at least I'm trying...